Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize
