Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Randomize
