did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
