C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
