Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
you made out with another girl for some wings
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