i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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