it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
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He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
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He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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