the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
