i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
