It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
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