Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
