That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Randomize
