When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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