nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
This is the high leading the old right now
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Drunk is a universal language darling
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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