Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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