if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
