Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
