Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Randomize
