are you still at the devil's house?
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Randomize