Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
