I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
and you fell through a lawn chair
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
