i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
These tits shall not be calmed
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Randomize