Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
where are you?
Hypothermia
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Randomize
