It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
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