What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
