I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize