I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
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