I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
