Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
you will always have a special place in my vag
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
you're hired as official boob wrangler
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