I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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