I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
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I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
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