This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
