I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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