After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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