i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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