brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Randomize
