ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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