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all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
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