apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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