Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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