What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
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