Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
