When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
