had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
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