I must be too annoying 4 u.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
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