clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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