PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
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