New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize