I am puke
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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