maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
my sisters under your porch take her home
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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