Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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