i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
i think im in europe. pls send help
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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