Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Pooping to opera.
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