Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
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