I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Randomize
