My underwear smells like fireworks.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Randomize
