i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Randomize