I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Randomize
