I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I party with great urgency now.
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