So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
