dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Randomize
