come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
This baby is an asshole
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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