I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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