i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
