I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
