dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Sorry about my life...
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Randomize
