corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
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