Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize