so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Randomize
