Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Randomize
